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  • Denise Frakes

4 Habits of Joy and the Beginning

Updated: Feb 14

At the end of December, the day my mom went back home to Colorado, I was sad. Of course, I was going to miss her. But this feeling was different. I've felt this before...depression starting to take root. It's familiar...or it was familiar. When I moved to Washington away from the Colorado sunshine into the long nights and lots of rain...depression took hold. I remember sitting on my bed with just a shimmer of light in my soul thinking...if I can find my way back...I'll help others do the same. And so, I began climbing.

It dawned on me depression was the absence of light of joy of delight. That's where I started. Going outside- As my mom said when I'd be moping around as was a kid ...."Go outside and get the stink blown off" Of course she was 100% right.

Too much time inside, couch potato-ing is like Superman's Kryptonite. Maybe that's just me...but I doubt it.

So, I started going outside walking- persistently and consistently, every day. This was August 19th, 2002. I know because I kept a journal everyday...for 1156 days. When I started, my immune system was compromised. I had no energy, depleted, drained, unhealthy...I was on a bad path. (that's another story - environmental toxins, stress, processed foods, dehydration, etc.)

I put one foot in front of the other. I remember on day 17, I was walking with my sister and said, I'm going to do this every day for 100 days. I knew myself, so I made it so easy, so doable that no matter what was going on in the world I could get my walk or run in. 15 minutes a day. That's all. Rain shine, winter, summer, when I was sick, busy, had company or didn't feel like it...I put in - showed up for 15 minutes. Along the way, my life was transformed, my joy returned, my health returned, my Spirit woke up. I learned to eat different. I built a solid habit. My first really powerful habit.

I didn't have a clue how to build habits at that point. I just knew I never wanted to feel that way again. I remember the first time I got a little cold...where before I would have been down for months, this time I kept lasted 2 days. I felt better even when I was sick going out and walking - way better. On that 1156 day journey, my health issues also lifted. As I walked my health improved. This one simple practice was attracting other good actions.

So this December when that old familiar feeling started showing up...back to habits of radiance and fresh air I went...which of course always includes getting out the door and getting "the stink blown off".

This time I wanted to play with my natural radiance system. Starting with 31 days of nourishing my radiant energy system...also known as strange flows or extraordinary vessels. We are wired for joy. Our radiant energy system can get depleted and depressed below our chronic stressors. Our Joy, our natural Light is always there but sometimes it needs a little polishing off.

I first learned of Radiant energy systems from Donna Eden- Energy Medicine. I've been playing with them for years but on that morning when I was driving home after putting my mom on a plane- I knew these beautiful flows needed support. My light was feeling dim.

And so, I dusted off my pride of "I've got this" and began again radiance, my joy. Cleaning off my residue so my light could sparkle.

Here is my morning habit. (Keep in mind my morning time is essential and solid and always fluid) I find waking up early is very good for my Spirit. Every morning just as I wake, before I'm out of bed, and look up, stretch and say thank you. Inviting Divine Spirit into my life and day. Thanking the day. I invite Joy and Delight, Awe and Wonder, Beautify, Serendipity to join me. Then I paddle my way into the bathroom wash my face with cold water, get a cup of hot water and do my morning energy exercises video. PDF (FYI the washing my face and hot water are not new habits not is morning exercise.) I've make a point to add in exercises that support my radiant energy system and to make joy a priority in my life. This morning time is what my mom calls quiet time. It's time for my Spirit, mind, body and soul. - more Quiet time another time.

4 ways to improve your radiant energy- From Donna Eden's Book

Cross Overs. Any move you make that cross over your left and right sides. Like Walking! Swimming, Dancing, Looking around...

Anything that stretches you- expands you- adds space in your body. Yoga is excellent for this, stretching, looking up and around. For me learning also expands as does, looking up, trying new things, tasting new foods, discovering.

Anything that engages your Spirit. Beauty, Love, Joy, Peace, Awe, Wonder, Delight, Play, Curiosity, Creativity, Gratitude. Positive emotions. Emotions that make your heart expand. The ones where your breath rushes back into your body.

Anything that improves your environment! Hello Cleaning and Clutter Clearing!!! Hello, getting out of the house and getting some fresh air!!! Travel is good for your radiant energies- your spirit. Try micro-travels- going to a new café. In your home, move furniture around- move pictures. Shift your decorations seasonally. Sit in different chairs. Open windows, clean your windows....

Think of your joy, your Radiant Energy System as a needs to be exercised. Joy begets Joy. Delight begets more Delight. Wonder begets get the picture. My favorite book on radiant energy is tucked into a bigger book. Read the last few chapters, the ones written by Donna Eden. She does a great job explaining radiant energies, the why and how to activate. It's yummy. (Book The Promise of Energy Psychology by David Feinstein, Donna Eden and Gary Craig)

Habits are simply persistent and consistent actions

to help you be, do or have what you most desire.

They keep you from wandering off like a flock of runner ducks.

The benefits of this energy system, your joy, your Spirit priceless. My life is always better when I actively and persistently give my Spirit Love. Everyone goes through low patches. We all do. Life builds up residues- it has irksomes, it's not easy being human. Chronic stress is real...but there is hope to move through and a most delightful way.

One of my favorite things I do every time I go outside, or get in the car or go anywhere is to look up, look around and smile and say thank you. So simple and yet this 10 second practice gets me out of my brain and puts me into the present moment. It wakes me up.

As a coach, as a job, is not to "fix" you. You are not broken- neither am I. My role is to see how beautiful you already are.

Happy traveling my friend,


FYI: If you want a great resource for habits- I highly recommend checking out James Clear's work- book Atomic Habits Tiny Changes - remarkable results

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