Friday, July 23, 2021

Never Fret on a Friday, Worry on a Wednesday...


Never fret on a Friday.  Never Worry on a Wednesday.  If you going to have a tantrum…for heavens sakes don’t do it on a Tuesday.  Don’t over think on a Thursday, sit around on a Saturday or spend too much time moping on a Monday.  Sundays are better suited for savoring than stressing.

I started thinking about this on a Friday.  I was fretting.  I haven’t a clue what I was fretting on.  But at that moment, it dawned on me that Fridays are not great days for fretting.  Then I got to thinking…when is a good day to fret? Is there a good day to fret?  As I scrolled through the days, it was clear…most days or not created for productive fretting, except maybe a Monday.  It seems Mondays are the day for a bit of moping.  However, make it short and sweet. Mondays are also rich for music, movement, moments of mystery, magic and mindfulness.  Too much moping on a Monday can waste a perfectly lovely day.

Fridays are the day to finish up and then have fun.  Why would you waste a good Friday by fretting when you could be creating art, loving and playing?  Fridays are perfect for finishing up and living brightly.

Don’t over think on a Thursday.  Looping thoughts, too many thoughts, too deep of thought are best saved for another day.  Be creative on Thursdays.  Luck shines brightly on Thursdays.  Take a leap of faith and jump.

Don’t worry on a Wednesday.  It’s the day to begin.   Start new projects on Wednesday.  Begin your new habits, write, and call a friend. Wiggling is fine for Wednesdays, especially if it comes with a tune.

Never have a tantrum on Tuesdays.   If you have inner venom circling around, redirect it.  Don’t spit it on others.  Wash your car, go for a walk, find a safe outlet. Your words have an extra bite that goes straight to the heart on Tuesdays.

Do not sit around on a Saturday.  Stand up, shake off the muck, smile and get started.  Saturday focus carries a special kind of satisfying. 

Never stress on a Sunday. Let the sunshine and nature wash away tension.  Relax, savor. Do it outside, study in the sun, nap in the shade.  Stir a pot of stew slowly.  Sip a cup of tea on the porch with friends.

So.... if you must mope, fret or worry, do it on a Monday.  Wallow if you must, but remember too much wallowing can dehydrate you, so drink a lot of water.

The next time, you find yourself fretting, worrying, snapping...pause and check your day.  Be mindful about when and what you do.😊

Denise Frakes- Life and Home Coach

Sunday, July 11, 2021

grandma's tea cup collection

 Sunday's, I don't set my alarm.  When I wake up, I wake up.  No to do list is waiting.  And every Sunday when I'm home...I find myself wandering into a little project.  This morning was cleaning teacups.  My grandma Ella had a big collection of teacup.  Grandpa had made her 8 tea cup cabinets to hang on their walls.  Each held 9 teacups.  When she passed my sister and I were gifted her collection.  

At the time, I wasn't having tea parties.  Frilly, fancy teacups weren't really my thing.  As much as I love my grandma, I didn't really want a giant collection of teacups.  I didn't even like pink or fancy dishes.

Of course, growing up, I didn't like broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, or beets either.  Everyday you lose cells and gain new cells.  Every 7 years we become new people.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned out, organized, rebooted and downsized all my dishes, my grandma dishes, good dishes, tea cups everything you would find in a china cabinet.  Which is funny because, I also never wanted a china closet and yet somehow, I had enough good dishes and such to fill a china closet.  90% of which were gifted to me or wandered into my life. 

Over the years, I fell in love with tea parties and vegetables.  A friend of mine endeared me to the art of tea.  Sitting, enjoying a cup of tea during a work pause or after work satisfaction.  Maybe I learned to love tea parties by reading about Wabi Sabi, or going to Iona, or from my aunt Darlean.  Or maybe I've always be destined to love tea parties.  I'm a slow bloomer. 

Like the dishes I didn't buy, tea parties wandered into my life.  I didn't search them out, and yet they found me anyway.

This morning, as I was washing my tea cup collection.  (My own collection whittled down to 9 tea cups with saucers.)  I was wondering.  As many tea cups as my grandma had did she ever have tea?  Did she use her tea cups as tea cups?  I never saw her have tea.  And yet, as much as she like collecting tea cups, I can't remember one time her using those tea cups.  Maybe she used them when I wasn't there.  My hunch is, she loved collecting tea cups and making cookies, pies and the most amazing sticky pecan rolls.  But the actual tea party...I don't know.

Now I find myself falling in love with tea parties, tiny bites.   Moments you savor slowly, absorbing the moment as well as the food and tea.  Tea served in a tiny cup feels special.  Deliberate, better?  I'm awake.  Mugs of hot tea go well with books, afghans and afternoons.  Teacups, are used awake-present.

I know my grandma loved her tea collection.  Going to garage sales, on day trips, finding a teacup calling her name.  Having the means to buy something beautiful just for the sake of beauty- was a gift to her.  She grew up very poor.  Her china closet was more than just dishes.  

I understood why she loved teacups.  This morning as I was washing each tiny plate, little cup, I was present. I was so present.  This is what a tea party means to me.  Savoring a moment.  Being fully present and tasting life.  Pausing from my own life to slow down, slow way down and simply sip, or taste a bite a tasty bite.  Tea parties, even tea for one, when served on tiny plates and little teacups with a special treat...makes me... happy. 

With a tiny tea cup you take tiny sips.  You hold your posture a little straighter.  The table set just so.  It's a tiny moment in life. It is special.  Tea parties are special moments.

Thank you, grandma, for my tea collection that took a long time to be appreciated.

If you have a teacup collection.  Dust them off.  Wash them.  Take them out of the cupboard.  Brew a bit of tea.  Make a tiny treat.  Sit up straight, breathe slow and deep - satisfying breaths.  Invite a friend over.  Tea parties don't have to be fancy.  Little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do just fine.


I have an update to this tea party... Yesterday, my mom and I got into a conversation about sewing machines and tea parties.  I gave away my sewing machine this summer.  On paper, I should love to sew. My mom is an amazing seamstress, so is my step mom. I'm not. I'd rather be doing pretty much anything but sewing.  To be fair, I love to sew straight lines, go buy material and fantasize about all the things I could create...but that's as far as it goes.  I was telling my mom I was loving tea parties.  She told me something I don't think I realized.  Denise you have always loved tea parties.  She would know, she is my mom.  Thinking about it, I can't imagine a time that I would turn away a tea party.

Thursday, July 1, 2021

Secrets of a happy July a quote from a farmer from 1913

July...comes around only once a year. I know it may seem like we are all on a race to the end of the year. In reality, we are in a circle. July is back, she circles around every year...this same time, same messages, same wisdom.

July rings summer more than any other month.
Are you pausing long enough to welcome her or him in? Give space to play, to pause to be! To eat hot dogs, lemonade and frozen ice cream on a stick? Am I?

We need to. Play, rest and just being are equally as important as goals, achievements and focus. They balance each other out.
July keeps us sane!
Question! What does summer mean to you? Do it! At least a little bit.
A note about Thomas Mitchell. The author of the following quote. As I was looking up a link for you, I found Thomas Mitchell wrote his essays in 1913. Prior to world war 1. I have even more awe for his timeless wisdom. Enjoy!

"One of the best secrets of a happy life is the art of extracting comfort and sweetness from every circumstance...

People are always looking for happiness at some future time and in some new thing, or some new set of circumstances, in possession of which they some day expect to find themselves.

But the fact is, if happiness is not found now, where we are, and as we are, there is little chance of it ever being found. There is a great deal more happiness around us day by day than we have the sense or power to seek and find.

If we are to cultivate the art of living, we should cultivate the art of extracting sweetness and comfort out of everything, as the bee goes from flower to flower in search of honey."
Source: Essays on Life
shared by James Clear in his weekly newsletter