Friday, July 23, 2021

Never Fret on a Friday, Worry on a Wednesday...


Never fret on a Friday.  Never Worry on a Wednesday.  If you going to have a tantrum…for heavens sakes don’t do it on a Tuesday.  Don’t over think on a Thursday, sit around on a Saturday or spend too much time moping on a Monday.  Sundays are better suited for savoring than stressing.

I started thinking about this on a Friday.  I was fretting.  I haven’t a clue what I was fretting on.  But at that moment, it dawned on me that Fridays are not great days for fretting.  Then I got to thinking…when is a good day to fret? Is there a good day to fret?  As I scrolled through the days, it was clear…most days or not created for productive fretting, except maybe a Monday.  It seems Mondays are the day for a bit of moping.  However, make it short and sweet. Mondays are also rich for music, movement, moments of mystery, magic and mindfulness.  Too much moping on a Monday can waste a perfectly lovely day.

Fridays are the day to finish up and then have fun.  Why would you waste a good Friday by fretting when you could be creating art, loving and playing?  Fridays are perfect for finishing up and living brightly.

Don’t over think on a Thursday.  Looping thoughts, too many thoughts, too deep of thought are best saved for another day.  Be creative on Thursdays.  Luck shines brightly on Thursdays.  Take a leap of faith and jump.

Don’t worry on a Wednesday.  It’s the day to begin.   Start new projects on Wednesday.  Begin your new habits, write, and call a friend. Wiggling is fine for Wednesdays, especially if it comes with a tune.

Never have a tantrum on Tuesdays.   If you have inner venom circling around, redirect it.  Don’t spit it on others.  Wash your car, go for a walk, find a safe outlet. Your words have an extra bite that goes straight to the heart on Tuesdays.

Do not sit around on a Saturday.  Stand up, shake off the muck, smile and get started.  Saturday focus carries a special kind of satisfying. 

Never stress on a Sunday. Let the sunshine and nature wash away tension.  Relax, savor. Do it outside, study in the sun, nap in the shade.  Stir a pot of stew slowly.  Sip a cup of tea on the porch with friends.

So.... if you must mope, fret or worry, do it on a Monday.  Wallow if you must, but remember too much wallowing can dehydrate you, so drink a lot of water.

The next time, you find yourself fretting, worrying, snapping...pause and check your day.  Be mindful about when and what you do.😊

Denise Frakes- Life and Home Coach

Sunday, July 11, 2021

grandma's tea cup collection

 Sunday's, I don't set my alarm.  When I wake up, I wake up.  No to do list is waiting.  And every Sunday when I'm home...I find myself wandering into a little project.  This morning was cleaning teacups.  My grandma Ella had a big collection of teacup.  Grandpa had made her 8 tea cup cabinets to hang on their walls.  Each held 9 teacups.  When she passed my sister and I were gifted her collection.  

At the time, I wasn't having tea parties.  Frilly, fancy teacups weren't really my thing.  As much as I love my grandma, I didn't really want a giant collection of teacups.  I didn't even like pink or fancy dishes.

Of course, growing up, I didn't like broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, or beets either.  Everyday you lose cells and gain new cells.  Every 7 years we become new people.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned out, organized, rebooted and downsized all my dishes, my grandma dishes, good dishes, tea cups everything you would find in a china cabinet.  Which is funny because, I also never wanted a china closet and yet somehow, I had enough good dishes and such to fill a china closet.  90% of which were gifted to me or wandered into my life. 

Over the years, I fell in love with tea parties and vegetables.  A friend of mine endeared me to the art of tea.  Sitting, enjoying a cup of tea during a work pause or after work satisfaction.  Maybe I learned to love tea parties by reading about Wabi Sabi, or going to Iona, or from my aunt Darlean.  Or maybe I've always be destined to love tea parties.  I'm a slow bloomer. 

Like the dishes I didn't buy, tea parties wandered into my life.  I didn't search them out, and yet they found me anyway.

This morning, as I was washing my tea cup collection.  (My own collection whittled down to 9 tea cups with saucers.)  I was wondering.  As many tea cups as my grandma had did she ever have tea?  Did she use her tea cups as tea cups?  I never saw her have tea.  And yet, as much as she like collecting tea cups, I can't remember one time her using those tea cups.  Maybe she used them when I wasn't there.  My hunch is, she loved collecting tea cups and making cookies, pies and the most amazing sticky pecan rolls.  But the actual tea party...I don't know.

Now I find myself falling in love with tea parties, tiny bites.   Moments you savor slowly, absorbing the moment as well as the food and tea.  Tea served in a tiny cup feels special.  Deliberate, better?  I'm awake.  Mugs of hot tea go well with books, afghans and afternoons.  Teacups, are used awake-present.

I know my grandma loved her tea collection.  Going to garage sales, on day trips, finding a teacup calling her name.  Having the means to buy something beautiful just for the sake of beauty- was a gift to her.  She grew up very poor.  Her china closet was more than just dishes.  

I understood why she loved teacups.  This morning as I was washing each tiny plate, little cup, I was present. I was so present.  This is what a tea party means to me.  Savoring a moment.  Being fully present and tasting life.  Pausing from my own life to slow down, slow way down and simply sip, or taste a bite a tasty bite.  Tea parties, even tea for one, when served on tiny plates and little teacups with a special treat...makes me... happy. 

With a tiny tea cup you take tiny sips.  You hold your posture a little straighter.  The table set just so.  It's a tiny moment in life. It is special.  Tea parties are special moments.

Thank you, grandma, for my tea collection that took a long time to be appreciated.

If you have a teacup collection.  Dust them off.  Wash them.  Take them out of the cupboard.  Brew a bit of tea.  Make a tiny treat.  Sit up straight, breathe slow and deep - satisfying breaths.  Invite a friend over.  Tea parties don't have to be fancy.  Little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do just fine.


I have an update to this tea party... Yesterday, my mom and I got into a conversation about sewing machines and tea parties.  I gave away my sewing machine this summer.  On paper, I should love to sew. My mom is an amazing seamstress, so is my step mom. I'm not. I'd rather be doing pretty much anything but sewing.  To be fair, I love to sew straight lines, go buy material and fantasize about all the things I could create...but that's as far as it goes.  I was telling my mom I was loving tea parties.  She told me something I don't think I realized.  Denise you have always loved tea parties.  She would know, she is my mom.  Thinking about it, I can't imagine a time that I would turn away a tea party.

Thursday, July 1, 2021

Secrets of a happy July a quote from a farmer from 1913

July...comes around only once a year. I know it may seem like we are all on a race to the end of the year. In reality, we are in a circle. July is back, she circles around every year...this same time, same messages, same wisdom.

July rings summer more than any other month.
Are you pausing long enough to welcome her or him in? Give space to play, to pause to be! To eat hot dogs, lemonade and frozen ice cream on a stick? Am I?

We need to. Play, rest and just being are equally as important as goals, achievements and focus. They balance each other out.
July keeps us sane!
Question! What does summer mean to you? Do it! At least a little bit.
A note about Thomas Mitchell. The author of the following quote. As I was looking up a link for you, I found Thomas Mitchell wrote his essays in 1913. Prior to world war 1. I have even more awe for his timeless wisdom. Enjoy!

"One of the best secrets of a happy life is the art of extracting comfort and sweetness from every circumstance...

People are always looking for happiness at some future time and in some new thing, or some new set of circumstances, in possession of which they some day expect to find themselves.

But the fact is, if happiness is not found now, where we are, and as we are, there is little chance of it ever being found. There is a great deal more happiness around us day by day than we have the sense or power to seek and find.

If we are to cultivate the art of living, we should cultivate the art of extracting sweetness and comfort out of everything, as the bee goes from flower to flower in search of honey."
Source: Essays on Life
shared by James Clear in his weekly newsletter

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Coming out of our COVID cocoons

  We are richer with poetry, kindred spirits and traveling partners.  Trying to be perfect, is not as much fun as a gritty, imperfect and quirky authentic soul.  When she stepped out of her own shadow...delightful friends appeared.  It's time to start moving out of our COVID cocoons to discover who we have transformed into over the last year plus!

                        Denise... Happy traveling my friends.

What Happens

What happens when your soul

Begins to awaken

Your eyes and your heart

And the cells of your body

To the great journey of Love?

First there is wonderful laughter

And probably precious tears

And a hundred sweet promises

And those hectic vows

No one can ever keep.

But still the Beloved is delighted and amused

That you try to be a saint.

What happens when your soul begins to awake in this world

To your deep need to love and to serve Life?

O, the Beloved Will send you

Wonderful and Wild companions!


Sunday, April 18, 2021

Simple and rich, the Velveteen Rabbit, hot Chocolate- Denise Style

 a dear friend introduced me to...  Thank you Nancy

The Velveteen Rabbit

You Become.  It takes a long time.

That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges or need to be carefully kept.

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been rubbed off and your eyes drop out and your get loose in your joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all. Because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand.

                                                              By Margery Williams

 It's Sunday morning, I'm eating a can of sardines, a few radishes and drinking a cup of Denise style, hot chocolate.  Our home is quiet, except for the birds singing and sunshine streaming.

Life is not a rush, we are gifted with this moment.  A creative act of discovery.   To be happy with sardines, Sunday mornings, a place to be and do whatever your heart guides is blissful.

Filling a day with tomorrow or yesterday is where the real clutter comes from.  Our present is life moment by moment.

It takes grit and courage to let go of what we expect of ourselves and become who we are.  Take a day, a moment and wonder.  Sit by the sea. Write. Be Wild of Spirit by doing nothing or something.  Listen to your soul.

How you are is perfect.  Your flaws are what makes you unique. You are perfect, who you are, right now: beautiful, cracked, imperfectly genuine, Real. 

So what if you have boxes of clutter, weeds that need pulled and tubs of papers to be filed.  Take time to play in your boxes...and also take time to honor you and your creative wishes.

   As you age, you become richer in soul.  What the world thinks isn't as important as what you know.   And sometime what we know isn't accurate either.  If what you think of yourself isn't kind or loving then pretend you are speaking to a dear friend. A kindred spirit you treasure...all of her quirks and buckets of imperfections. Speak to yourself that way.  You are a gift...

Clutter, your home, your life...isn't who you are.  You are spectacular.  Creating a space where you are nourished, free and an act of love not a requirement to be a beautiful soul. 

   happy travels my friend,


Hot chocolate:  Denise Style

There is something soul nourishing in a cup of hot chocolate.  Maybe is was learned to connect hot chocolate with nourished and love.  My Dad always loved hot chocolate.  Sunday's are better when I make myself a cup.  However, processed cocoa mixes and sugar are not nourishing to my I recreated an old friend to nourish both body and soul.

Hot water

Collagen powder(grass fed) ... some days I use vegan protein powder, or paleo protein powder...


Coconut cream or plant based milk, or cream.  today I used a hazelnut, vegan creamer.

Powder organic super red (dried blend of berries, beets, carrots, fruits, veggies etc)  Sometimes I use extracts like orange or lemon or peppermint

If I need more sweet I add 100% pure monk fruit or stevia.  Today life seemed sweet enough.

Part of what I love about my hot chocolate  is the memories of my dad and Sunday mornings doing life simply and easy.  I lost my dad this spring.  He lives with me in Hot Chocolate and being easy with Sundays.  

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Sit still and be interesting

"When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety.
If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me and without pain.
From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me."


 When I was a kid, my job (self imposed) was to help tame our baby calves and barn kittens.  It didn't take long to learn that if I chased them...they ran.  It was when I got still, sat and did something interesting that they would come to me.   When I think of Rumi's words, I know it to be true.  Denise stop chasing, sit still, be interesting and wait for my little friends to come visit me.

    Just a thought, when you feel like you should "go after"  your dreams.


Saturday, January 9, 2021

Joy is like a muscle...a muscle that needs exercise

 "Joy is a Devine quality of our true self, which is inherently lighthearted, playful and free. You can see the full expression of this joy in young children who haven't learned to worry or take themselves too seriously.  They play and laugh freely, finding wonder in the smallest things. They are infinitely creative because they haven't yet build up the layers of conditioning that creates limitations and restrictions"          Deepak Chopra

Don't wait for joy to come.  Joy is a muscle.  If you want to get in joyful need to exercise your joy muscles.  Action is required.  Reading a book about joy or wishing for it doesn't do anything unless a little action is included.  Life is richer and way more fun, when joy is part of your daily workout. This is one reason I love clutter clearing as part of my coaching. When done correctly, Clutter clearing is a joyful act.  It creates a lighter home.  It's good for your spirit!  It is productive.  Creating a refreshed space, an authentic and nourishing space is an act of love.

I tell my clients all the time...this will be fun.  You should see the sideway glances I get. But it's true. I know it in my bones. I see it over an over again. I feel it.  Joyful work is good medicine.  And good medicine can be joyful work!

A little bit of exercise done consistently overtime...creates healthy bodies and joyful spirits.  It takes time to clean off life's residues and let your natural joy, your essence shine through.  This is a journey of discovery.  If you are cleaning out your home or igniting your is a process.  A delightful and awe inspiring journey.  One that when done consistently...even just a smidgen at a time...will give you blessings in buckets.

Today, add a splash of joy to your day.  Dance to a little music, sing a song, go outside and look for new discoveries, clean out one book shelf.  Send a note of gratitude to a friend.  Play hop scotch...throw ball.  Simple...yes!  Good for the soul?  You bet!  Dance a little for no reason.  Watch a comedy...just play.  And then do it again tomorrow.  

                            Wishing you a joyful journey,

                                        Denise Frakes  Home and Life Coaching...joyfully done!


Saturday, January 2, 2021

The Habit Poem...A year of tiny practices

"The first time you actually do it differently - whether you're delighted or disappointed in the results - you throw a pebble in the pond. The pebble sends out tiny, barely visible ripples of movement toward the center. No one else notices.....But one day, all those small but indelible moments of private courage will burst through. And both you an your world will have changed in an authentic moment."        Sarah Ban Breathnach Simple Abundance

 Greetings January!!

         When you are creating new years resolutions...  Think daily practices...they turn into habits...and habits create your life.   You can do tiny practice at a pebble, one day, one moment.

                         May you be persistent and consistent in your dreams,  Happy New Year!!

                                                                                                    Denise Frakes Home and Life Coach

The Habit Poem
I am your constant companion

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure
I am completely at your command

Half of the things you do, you might as well turn over to me 
and I will do them - quickly and correctly

I am easily managed- you must be firm with me
Show me exactly how you want something done
and after a few lessons I will do it automatically

I am the servant of great people
and alas, of all failure as well.
Those who are great, I have made great
Those who are failures, I have made failures

I am not a machine though
I work with the precision of a machine
plus the intelligence of a person

You may run me for profit or run me to ruin
it makes no difference to me

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and 
I will place the world at your feet

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?  I am Habit.

Author unknown