Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Transformational lives...why I coach

I don't talk about my life coaching very much and yet it weaves through everything I do.  Sometimes my life coaching skills are the focus, often they support my other work...such as in downsizing, energized work or creating healthy homes

The truth is, everything I do is about creating a life you can thrive in.  What I love about coaching is:  I'm not here to change you but help you discover you.  I see you as whole, beautiful and fully capable.  We all need support and help in our lives.  It isn't a reflection of something missing but a deep understanding, that we rarely see ourselves as we are capable of being.

This week, I was cleaning out my office files...yes, I do need to reboot my own office.  September is the perfect time. Starting fresh now vs at the end of the year makes a ton of sense to me.  Autumn is full of energy and now more than ever we need to create space and focus our intentions moving forward.

In my clean out I came upon, the 7 commitments of a Transformation coach.  Thought you might just like to know what they are.  

1.  I honor the sacredness of others and hold their confidences

2.  I respect other's perceptions of the world and meet them were they are

3. I am impeccable with my word and commitments

4. I connect from the heart

5. I hold my client and the world in a positives focus

6. I take responsibility for myself and allow others to do the same

7. I see all people as whole, full and complete

For me these commitments are personal and natural.  This is why I was so drawn to the transformation life coaching program.  My work as a coach is to see the miracle of you, even when you might have lost sight of your natural essence.   I'm not here to change but to value, to honor, uncover you, to reflect back to you the wonder I see in you.

Before I was a certified coach, I followed most of these commandments.  In 2016, when I got certified, I grounded my natural tendencies into my work...and life.  For me,  these commitments are an essential part of what I refer to as a Residue Free Lifestyle.  Simple, pure and heartfelt.

Our world is going through some irksome times. What I urge you and will continue to cultivate in my own life is seeing each other and our world.. all it's glory and struggles...in a positive focus. Having faith in each other to be resilient, beautiful, creative and kind.  To see what might be hidden behind clutter, anger, fear, sorrow, lack of sleep, anxiety and too much sugar.  Our beautiful spirits never go away...sometimes we  just get a little residue on the outside.  Nothing a good cleaning can't take care of.

           From my own cleaning out reflections,

                       Denise Frakes... may you journey beautifully


Friday, September 11, 2020

Change your focus...sit down and listen to the sea!

 This morning I woke up to a state full of fires, smoke, social rage, COVID, economic unease, and a hot political season...and I woke up to a purring kitty, a morning, my family, a cup of hot water and a batch of beet soup waiting to be created.

A few years ago, I traveled to Iona Scotland on a pilgrimage.  It was exactly that, not exactly a vacation, more of an adventure in traveling and weather...and some absolutely delightful people and delicious tea and scones.

While we were on the Island, we discovered an old land fill with hidden treasures from a lost time.  Why I was so captivated by an old dump, is just me and very wabi sabi   This dump, was in the north side of Iona- a very small island.  My traveling mates and I discovered it and then I tried to find in on my own.  I wandered around searching for the "dump". 

A little back story, Iona old with a long history. It is know as a place with a very thin veil...meaning your ability to connect outside of this normal life we lead is natural here.  As I was wondering and looking, a voice popped into my head- a clear and authoritative voice

    "Denise stop looking for the dump.  Sit down and listen to the sea!"  These were more like marching orders instead of a internal suggestion.  It woke me up. I looked up.  In front of me, beyond the blowing grass and hidden dump was the sea.  It was beautiful, colorful and full of energy... I looked down a perfectly cut out from the grass bank... right in front of me, was a place to sit and listen to the sea.

Since that day, when I get lost looking for the "dump" I remember those words and think.  "Denise, stop looking for the dump.  Sit down and listen to the sea."

Today is such a day.  Yes, there is a lot going on.  A majestic level of unrest...and yet, it is essential we don't put all our focus on what is wrong, or dangerous, or unsettling... that we also put some time aside to sit down and listen to the sea, or make a batch of beet soup, or dance to an old song, or write a blog. 

Where ever you are today, I wish you and yours safety, love and health...and I also share the words from Iona Scotland.... "stop looking for the dump...sit down and listen to the sea!" 

        From my home to yours, may you be safe, healthy and a wee bit curious to what the sea has to say,     

                                Denise Frakes



Monday, September 7, 2020

September Resolutions...authentic requests of the soul

 September Resolutions....make more sense than our traditional January resolutions.  Is it just me or do you too feel like you are already behind by the time your resolutions are made in Jan? Spring is right around the corner, you hit the new year running...even if your spirit and body want to hibernate. Is that anyway to begin anything?

  As September rolled in, I was once again drawn my Simple Abundance book.  I've had this book for years and yet, when it calls my name, it is timely and spot on.  If you have this book go to Sept 1st's entry.  Turning over a new leaf.  

   Sarah reminds us September has been the beginning not ending of the year since ancient times.  When did we change that?  Traditionally, September was the time for reflection, atonement and pausing to look at our lives.  What do we do? What have we done? What are we called to do?

  "What we need in autumn is an emotional or spiritual shot in the arm."  Katharine Elizabeth Fite wrote in Good Housekeeping in 1949, urging the beginning of a new tradition for women: personal and positive resolutions in September. "Why do you suppose so many of us waste the autumn? Why don't we make the effort that would provide something new in our lives?"  January's negative resolutions "are made when we are worn out in spirit, body, and pocketbook, and have no real urge to do anything but rest."

   "It seems to me that January resolutions are about will; September resolutions are about authentic wants.  What do you want more or less of in your life, so that you can love the life you're leading?"

   "The beauty of autumnal resolutions is that no one else knows we're making them.  Autumnal resolutions don't require horns, confetti, and champagne.  September resolutions ask only that we be open to positive change."            September 1st Simple Abundance  Sarah Ban Breathnach.

   Sarah published Simple Abundance in 1995- 25 years ago.  Katharine Elizabeth Fite wrote about  September resolutions in 1949 - 71 years ago.  Wise advise is timeless! 

  September brings change in the seasons and weather...and with these changes we naturally have a desire to shift, to prepare for winter, to make big pots of soup and create cozy homes.  To clean out our homes, our garden and lives so the new year lands softly and not like a thud on our tired hearts.

   2020 and COVID, made resolutions and goals almost seem comical.  Most of our "plans and goals" got quarantined.  These kind of goals and resolutions are not what we are talking about.  This is the season to clean out, to prep, to let go of what doesn't feed us, to create space for authentic spiritual requests of mind, body and soul.  

I highly recommend taking a day, a hour, a breath in your September to go within and ask yourself.  What do you need to do this autumn to pave the way for a kind winter, a beautiful beginning to 2021?

We all know how much we can't control...but we are not helpless in this world.  By creating a vision and space for our spirit and authentic wants...just maybe we can create a simply abundant 2021.

   May your new year be sweet and inspired.  Now is the time to create your life...quietly,

              Denise Frakes